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Week three of Elements of Physical Geography draws to a close. You know, I really don't get most of what's going on in this class, but I am so relieved to be in this class and not in the presession class anymore.

As I was telling Eric and Elliot yesterday, I really need to get a hobby. I've been watching West Wing again lately, and I've already gotten through two whole seasons (22 one-hour episodes each season) in something like two and a half weeks. Isn't that a whole lot of sitting around and staring at the screen?

But I need an affordable hobby. Preferrably one that is free. Possibly involving some small form of activity. I am trying to be more active. Sitting around on my couch at home is not good all the time. Yet, I am always here. I did fix my bike this week, though. I replaced the old inner tube with a new one and even put it on myself. It was interesting, since I have never really done that before. I like figuring things out like that. I feel like I could be an inventor in those small moments when I can think through all the parts on the bike and an explanation isn't necessary. It's another indication that I could be doing something with my hands.

Take every aspect of your small life and perfect it. I've been wondering if I am not ambitious enough lately. Ought I stop second-guessing myself? Ought I actually go through grad school? If I could convince myself that I'm worth the trouble. So for something like 24 hours, I was considering overseas school. Wouldn't that be ideal? I really want to live overseas one time in my life. But not alone. I have already struck out on my own and I don't like it. I don't like the three-years-and-counting adjustment period it requires. When will I stop looking at it all with astonishment, with all the reassurances, "So this is my life." ?

The trouble is, I'm not patient enough for academia. I want it here and now. And I want to understand it without all the extra effort. It's like every time I take a test that I haven't studied for and just pray, pray that I'll be able to figure out the answer through some miracle of collective knowledge or gleaning something from the etymology of a word. It works sometimes. I am too concerned for my own good with the fact that in our gifts, we are not balanced. I think, well this person can make straight A's without even trying, so I should be able to. Sometimes, I feel as if the lessons of America and its freedoms, its equality require a disclaimer: but not in actuality.

Still, shouldn't we strive towards that? We are taught such valuable, rare virtues, and we are made to think that they are, in so many ways, obsolete. But if we are never told about the light outside of the cave, how will we know to keep moving forward?

Oh geez. I did it again. I always get philosophical. I should stop doing that! In other news, I might make my journal friends only if I keep getting comments from bots on my entries. Well, that's just not cool. So I hope most people are logged in most of the time.

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